Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

Essential thinking for reading Catholics.

Monday, December 10, 2007

See? We're not the same person.

(I was originally going to title this post "I'm Not The Stig" but I doubt anyone would know what on earth I was talking about. This doesn't strike me like a BBC2 crowd, hence the paucity of Gordon Ramsay references.)

The lovely and gracious Karen and I are often accused, often by the more assertive enuretics out there -- usually over at ALB -- of being of one mind. Marching in lockstep, as it were. But that is not true, and I am about to present compelling evidence to that effect.

Karen, taking the occasion of Mitt Romney's Ich Bin Ein Berliner I'm A Mormon & I'm OK speech, has written a post on how she sees the upcoming US presidential election. Before I do an abbreviated version of the same, I must lay out (again) my political inclinations that nobody will think I am trying to palm off anything surreptitiously.

I am (emphatically) not one of those "the two major parties are all the same" or "they both upset me just as much." I am a Republican. No, I am not a _____ Republican. Not a "social" conservative or a "fiscal" conservative or whatever. To coin a phrase, I inhabit the Republican wing of the Republican party. Part of this is genetic. The first civic act my parents ever did as U.S. citizens was to vote for Barry Goldwater in 1964; and when we were children, my sister and I were free to help ourselves to any dimes we found, as our ancestors refused to have anything to do with FDR, and the animus towards FDR extended to coins. (We never tested whether this courageous stand on principle extended to Kennedy half-dollars and Jackson $20s, but we do know that we never had any Democrat on the stamps at the house because "the saliva would somehow wind up on the incorrect side.")

So now you know.

Having said all that, I am disheartened by the appalling lack of choice for the Republican nomination. All of these guys have some serious strike against them, which precludes my voting for them in the primaries. (The general election is a wholly different animal. The only way I'll ever vote for a Democrat over a Republican is if the former is pro-life and the other is not. I'll wait for that day sitting down, thanks.)

In sum, while I am not electorally put off by the LSD-ish views of the LDS, I am concerned by the generally unimpressive nature of Mitt Romney and I'm not all that crazy-convinced about his seriousness as a social conservative. The fact he got into a discussion on some of the more, er, peculiar aspects of Mormonism without realizing his mike would still be live during the commercial breaks doesn't speak highly about his sagacity.

Giuliani's appallingly Upper West Side social views make me want to flee screaming as if my hair were aflame. (In fairness, I do like the fact Giuliani -- as opposed to almost all Republicans in living memory -- likes to play hardball with his political enemies. The late, lamented Spy magazine once christened him "America's Toughest Weenie.")

McCain? Yes, sure, the fact he always looks as if he is about to #$%&ingsnapanymomentnow is highly entertaining, but his bedwetterness on the matter of the appointment of judges who'd actually reshape the issues of same-sex marriage, abortion, etc. is, for me, a dealbreaker.

So who's left? Huckabee? His position on illegal immigration is a nonstarter, and presages someone who'd easily cave to the Usual Suspects; an Arkansas Democrat is not at all like a Capitol Hill Democrat.

Tom Tancredo was imbecile enough to say Miami is like a 3rd World country -- and anyone stupid enough to insult one of the (if not the) most loyal of Republican constituencies is simply not intelligent enough to be President.

The only guy who stands a snowball's chance of getting my unreserved support is Rep. Duncan Hunter. Of course, it takes a mighty long memory to remember the last President elected straight out of the House of Representatives*. The last guy to have had a s-l-i-m chance was Jack Kemp in 1988 and he was flattened by GHWB. But so far his outlook on the issues seems congruent with mine, he served honorably in Vietnam and his son is a Marine (Marine?) serving in Iraq. Anyone so sympatico with my views, doesn't have a chance, alas.

Of course, a hypercynical pro-life person would say the way to end abortion would be to vote for the Democrat who'd most likely surrender unconditionally to Islamofascism, Inc., and when those guys overrun the place, Emily's List will be in burqas, quietly walking three paces back.

The problem is that I am not running for President (the reasons why the Republic is being deprived of my manifold qualities is another story for another post) and therefore we won't have someone who will simultaneously play hardball over judges who are Not Insane, win the War on Terror once and for all, take a meat cleaver to both the Federal Register and the Federal Budget, merrily chainsaw taxes and turn Washington D.C. into a Volvo-propelled BoBo reenactment of the Grapes of Wrath.

-J.

* James Garfield, in 1880. He was shot.

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