Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

Essential thinking for reading Catholics.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Karen'll turn this into a meme, just you wait.

A coupla days back, I received a mostly uninspiring meme. It did have one part which functioned as its saving grace.

My fave section of that meme was:

Name two favorite lines from movies.

Which I would have answered:

1. "Teaching the lepers how to sing." Stolen (in adapted form) from Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and used whenever someone engages in an activity of purported charity which accomplishes nothing, but makes the person performing such an act feel as if s/he had actually achieved something.

2. "So that's it, then. We're going to die." Stolen from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and used whenever my wife is scared of something that I'm doing which, in reality, merits barely a raised eyebrow.

But, to a "film/TV geek" like me, a mere two lines is woefully inadequate. I've stolen hundreds if not thousands of lines, and I spout them off at, ideally, inconvenient times and in as impertinent a manner as I can manage.

Here are some other ones, with credit where credit is due and suggestions on usage:

"Fire at will, Commander." Stolen from The Empire Strikes Back and used to indicate "Fine. Whatever. Do what you want." (It helps if you can do the impression of Emperor Palpatine)

"Light is green, trap is clean" from Ghostbusters, meaning the traffic light has changed and you may now use the gas pedal.

"It's the long pedal on the right. Live a little." Pilfered from Dragnet 1987, same as above, but with more emphasis.

"God help me, I do love it so." That one is from Patton and it means that although I recognize the subject under discussion may not be to anyone's taste, I happen to love it. I usually mention it to my long suffering wife in conjunction to uncommon cuisines such as Korean or haute-WASP.

"So this is Hell." Shamelessly lifted from Volunteers (a movie with as many quotable lines* as any ever committed to film -- Karen, you may relay this to Ken), from the scene when Lawrence Bourne the Third discoveres that, in his haste to escape his gambling debts, he has boarded an airplane filled with Peace Corps volunteers singing "Michael Row The Boat Ashore" and "Puff The Magic Dragon." I use it whenever I am unexpectedly dismayed by a new development.

"There is no Dana...only ZUL!" also from Ghostbusters, and uttered when someone is having a Very Bad Hormone Day. A gravelly, deep baritone or bass best conveys the intended effect.

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Made in response to an unbelievable assertion. (But you hafta do the accent.)

"If you buy this hat they give you a free bowl of soup...[pause]...but it looks good on you." Swiped from Caddyshack and used when someone is contemplating a hideous garment.

"Remain calm. All is well." Which I take from Animal House and use to suggest panic is not inappropriate nor unexpected.

"Blessed are the cheesemakers." Taken from from Monty Python's Life of Brian, and used to suggest someone has really gotten the wrong idea about something.

"These people built the Pyramids." From Mr. Saturday Night and used to denote the average age of the attendees at a given event is "deceased."

"Bring me a glass of warm gin with a human hair in it." This one is from Rustler's Rhapsody and it is intended to convey my posessing precisely the sort of toughness which Karen considers as suitable for men.

"I believe on a voyage like this, you should should have every amenity." My fave Groucho Marx line, from A Night At The Opera and it means I am going to make the best of a bad situation, probably by frequenting the bar.

"You mean witches? We have 'em too. We just pronounce it differently." Van Johnson's immortal line from Brigadoon. I use this to explain that my feelings for someone extend beyond the supposed mere dislike.

"Nonsense. They came nowhere near my tabloids." From The Thin Man, and used to indicate "no harm done."

"Congratulations. You're a Hell of a threat to mosquitoes everywhere." Grabbed from Ensign Pulver (a very young Jack Nicholson boasts about just having swatted a bug) and used whenever someone brags about something very trivial. I mean even trivial for me, which is saying a lot.

"Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." from Arsenic and Old Lace. Used to explain my abysmal relatives.

"I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time." From Broadcast News and used when someone thinks I know WTF s/he is talking about.

"What we've got here is failure to communicate." a BRILLIANT line from Cool Hand Luke which I use to denote (usually to my long-suffering wife) that she is not paying detailed enough attention to whetever the Hell it is I am talking about now.

"I was born a poor black child." from The Jerk. I use it to denote how much progress I have made towards a particularly difficult goal, such as making gnocchi from scratch.

"In my case, self-absorption is completely justified. I have never discovered any other subject so worthy of my attention." From Laura, uttered by the very inimitable Clifton Webb. Self-explanatory.

"Mother of Mercy, is this the end of Rico?" Little Caesar (and also, hilariously, Home on the Range) used to admit that something, towards which I have expended much effort, is going to not work out.

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." To be uttered to someone who is really doing something completely idiotic, counterproductive and self-indulgent, from Animal House.

"Rommel! You magnificent bastard! I read your book!" From Patton, and used to indicate that, following written instructions, I have achieved better-than-expected results. (If possible, you have to sound like George C. Scott.

I could go on and on...in fact, I think I have.

-J.

* Other amazing lines are:

(when LB III deplanes in the tropical swelter of South East Asia) "Jesus H. Christ, we must be a mile from the sun."
(when LB III spots a tall Texan in a crowd of Thais) "I'm going strictly by height, but...are you in charge here?"
"It's not that I can't help these people it's that...I don't want to."
"We must do what we must do, for if we do not do what we must do, then what we must do does not get done."

1 Comments:

  • At 11:25 PM, March 09, 2008 , Blogger Aunty Belle said...

    Aw, Sugar Pie, youse tickled my funny bone.

    But, mercy, I done thawght that
    "Remain calm. All is well" was ole' Al Haig.

    An' all them traffic quotes, did'ja fergit this one:

    "The yellow light means go faster." (Close Encounters of the Third Kind)

    Well, akshully what WE say is
    "I reckon that yeller light means youse jes' gonna go faster."

    We'uns say that when we ought be slammin' on the brakes in a a life situation but some idjit dare devil ain't ready to be sensible yet.

    Doan follow me home--I ain't s'pose to be bloggin in Lent. Cain't risk folks knowin' I'se not strictly virtuous in Sundays in Lent.

     

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