Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

Essential thinking for reading Catholics.

Sunday, May 04, 2008


I feel like [Heck].

Compounding this lousy feeling is the full-featured, action-packed day we had. It'd be very easy for me to get off on a rant, so I'll try my best to be charitable.

Yesterday morning, as we went to Confession there was a wedding going on, which is pretty unusual for that time of the day. That part is fine. I certainly can't blame any father of any bride for wanting to get off cheaply with a brunch rather than dinner. (The poshest possible brunch imaginable still weighs in at half the cost of the most meager dinner.)

What bothered me is that during the Nuptial Mass, the (ahem) congregation was deathly silent when it came to responses.

"The Lord be with you!"


"The Word of the Lord"


Only our little troupe of penintents were actually responding, which makes for a generically awkward feeling. Then, when the time came for the Gospel, the priest had to "invite people to stand"...and so the long day wore on.

...and another thing.

For the love of all that is Sacred...would it KILL anyone to dress up for a wedding? This is not a matter of affording certain types of clothes, so don't go there, lest I have to come over and swat you. By this I mean that a solid gold "battleship chain" is no substitute for a necktie, and that no matter how pleased a lady might be with her legs, there is no reason to have a skirt go to mid-thigh in Church. I won't even go into the whole "The Sopranos Sing Reggaet├│n" look.

Later in the day we had a 1st Holy Communion and that had the same sartorial misdeeds. Perhaps this is a Miami-only thing, BUT...wearing a long-sleeve guayabera IS NOT THE SAME as wearing a shirt and tie, let along jacket and tie. Even if it cost $1000. (You laugh.) Even if you wear it with cufflinks that cost $2000. It's a Hawaiian shirt with extra pockets.

Now, this 1st Communion took place at a Church which I have dubbed (to my wife's chagrin) St. William of Sonoma. Now, as far as modern churches go, it could have been infinitely worse. It has a center nave, and the tabernacle is actually there behind the altar (although well hidden, so your newcomer is thrown genuflection-wise) and the stained glass actually depicts recognizable things.

Naturally, the music was such that my offerings sprang a brigade of souls out of Purgatory, with drums and lots of clapping and nothing I'd recognize in the way of melody.


This is where the parish of St. William of Sonoma really shone. All the kids who came up to make their 1st Communion walked up to a kneeler, knelt and received the Eucharist in the mouth. (From a priest!) Whoa! I was ready to forgive all the other drivel attributable to the zeitgeist as a consequence.

So that was my day.