Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

Essential thinking for reading Catholics.

Monday, May 18, 2009

How I got through The One's speech.

I did so the most painless way I knew how, with a Mai Tai...and, for the visual learners in the gallery, here it is in a photo-essay format. Because I am awesome like that.

Okay.

Here is the road company of ingredients: (back to front, left to right)
Rock candy syrup
Orgeat
Steel half of the Boston shaker
Rum (today's star is Barceló Añejo)
Cointreau
Glass half of Boston shaker, with a clip-on strainer (OXO, which is not only the very best, it's also stupidly cheap)
Lime, atop the lime squeezer (were I to be making a bucket of this, instead of one, I'd use the electric juicer, otherwise, I'd wind up with forearms like Popeye)
We start by crushing ice. The first batch of which goes into the glass.
(This glass? Souvenir from The Polynesian Resort in Disney World...which I then found out is available online for 75% less than WDW charges innocent tourists. The ice crusher was an eBay steal. A STEAL, I tell you.)

For added cold-related excellentness, I put it in the freezer, on standby.
And we start building our beverage.
Start with 2 oz. of rum
½ oz. of Cointreau
½ oz. of "rock candy" syrup (which is nothing more than simple sugar syrup, infused with vanilla)
½ oz. of orgeat, which you can buy or (if you're fanatical like I am) make your own
1 oz of lime juice.
Not only do I slice the lime in half, but I also score each half pretty deeply into quadrants. To get maximum juicefulness.
To be safe, I stick the juicer into the steel part of the shaker, lest I spray everything within a 10' (3m) radius with lime juice, especially my eyes.
...and here we have the post-squeezery phase.
Believe me there was an ounce of juice (and a tiny bit over) to be had from that small lime.

Drop the spent lime shells into the glass half of the shaker. Fill the steel half with crushed ice.

Assemble the shaker. When you do this make sure you squeeze the steel half ever-so-slightly and that you push and twist the glass half. This creates a seal. Important if you don't want to become a Mai-Tai sprinkler system, scattering syrupyness all over the place.

Shake until you have a good frost -- not merely condensation -- on the outside of the steel half, then another 5 seconds. For those of you in arid climes, figure 30-45 seconds, total.

Retrieve your vessel from the recesses of the freezer, and pour through the strainer. It is very important you pour into fresh "dry" ice -- not dry ice, mind you.

Garnish with the spent lime shell (or mint, or some cherries, pineapple chunk, orange slice, etc.) and you may then hear, with all equanimity, The President speak.

-J.

2 Comments:

  • At 4:03 PM, May 18, 2009 , Blogger Karen said...

    You're deranged. But in good ways. Wish I had one of those. I got through the speech by refusing to watch it.

     
  • At 4:12 PM, May 18, 2009 , Blogger Joe said...

    After two of these, The President begins to sound just like the grownups in the Peanuts cartoons, and making almost as much sense.

    P.S. I promise happy hour daily. Remind me to tell you of my stint as a bartender during my Wilderness Years.

     

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